Wondering how to ensure your sex life doesn’t run dry in your long term relationship? Researchers say the answer is fairly simple: keep on having sex, even when you’re not in the mood because it’s important to your partner.
Researchers from the University of Toronto asked 44 couples to fill out a daily online questionnaire over 21 days. They also filled out an initial online survey to record their sexual habits. To check consistency of results, researchers followed up with another questionnaire four months after the initial study had ended.
Individuals’ ages ranged from 23 to 60, while relationships spanned between three and 39 years.
The initial survey identified individuals with a strong desire to satisfy their partner’s needs without expecting anything in return, specifically when it came to sexual needs.
On average couples reported having sex once a week over the 21 day period but it was those with a strong desire to fulfil their partner’s needs who reported a higher incidence of desire themselves which was sustained in the four-month follow-up questionnaire.
On the other hand, those who felt less motivation to fulfil their partner’s sexual needs also showed a lower sexual drive of their own which declined further at the four-month follow-up.
The study concludes that communal motivation which involves doing things to improve the lives of others, is beneficial when applied to our sex lives to ensure the health of your long-term relationship.